How do I know what to decide? How do I know when to decide? In life and ministry we often come to a crossroads where we must make a decision that will affect the rest of our lives. You know the kind. . . the ones that simultaneously fill you with excitement and fear. They are the ones that keep you awake at night analyzing every variable. I have come to many crossroads where I faced life altering ministry decisions. “Should I go into missions?” “Which ministry?” “Should I change ministry/location?” “Should I have a tall or grande coffee?” (Just making sure you’re still with me.) Each of these decisions would affect the rest of my life and my family. I wish there was a quick and easy formula to find God’s will, but there isn’t. It takes a lot of time in prayer. However, I have found that I typically ask myself many questions before choosing a path. During our transition from Tanzania to Portugal, I wrote these questions down to help me with future decisions and to share with others. These questions are not a formula to follow, but a path to follow day by day. Sometimes, it takes me weeks or months to work through them. They help me examine my heart to see if I am walking close to Jesus and being led by the Holy Spirit or if I am drifting. The order is not inspired, but I wait until I can answer “yes” on each question before proceeding with a ministry decision. Once I have answered “yes”, I act. It is too easy to hide behind unknowns. If I know what God has called me to do, I need to step out in faith and trust Him to work out the unknowns. If He planned the path, He also planned the details. I hope these questions will be beneficial to you as you seek to follow God.
As you ask yourself these questions, ask God to search your heart.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” Ps. 139:23-24
CROSSROAD QUESTIONS:
1. Goal - Do I desire His glory above everything, including my comfort? 2. Relationship - Am I daily going deeper in my relationship with God? God wants us to follow Him, not a formula or plan. He wants to work IN us before He works THROUGH us. 3. Surrender - Is my answer “yes” before God has ever spoken? 4. Need - Do I see a need or a way that God is working around me? 5. Biblical Command - Is there a way that I need to obey God’s Word to meet the need? 6. Prayer - Have I waited on God in prayer asking Him to reveal His will? Am I praying “not my will but your will be done?” 7. Desire - Is God giving me a growing desire to minister in this way? (Phil. 2:13) 8. Courage - Am I facing my problems instead of running away from them? 9. Gifting - Is this in an area of gifting that God has given me & my family? 10. Opportunity - Has God opened a door for ministry? Wait until He does. God often uses providential circumstances to open these doors. 11. Counsel - Have I sought Godly counsel? (Not just my “yes men".) 12. Friend - What would I suggest my best friend do? 13. Strategic Dependance - Is this beyond my ability so that success fully depends on God’s power? 14. Faith - God asks: Will you trust Me? 15. Fear - Will I take the path marked "fear"? 16. Future: 10/10/10/100: Picture your future self. 17. Step by Step - Will I take the first step? Unpacking the Crossroad Questions: 1. Goal - Do I desire His glory above everything, including my comfort? Living for God’s glory and living for my comfort are usually at odds. When God calls us to “go” it often means leaving behind what is comfortable and stepping into uncertainty. If I love and protect my comfort more than the glory of God, then I won’t be willing to follow (or stay) as He leads. When we were considering moving from South Africa to Tanzania, God tested our love of comfort. He tested if we were willing give up great friends, ministry, home, car, motorcycle & pets to follow Him. Was it hard? Absolutely. But pursuing an even greater treasure also made it a joy. Through testing we learn to treasure God Himself more than comfort or the good gifts that He gives. God tested Abraham’s love by asking him to give up his son. If God asks you to give up one of His good gifts to live for His glory, will you? A question that kept coming to mind while trying to make this decision was: “Should I uproot our family?” As I wrestled with this decision, God encouraged me with this thought: “I am not uprooting our family, I am teaching them where our TRUE roots are. Our TRUE roots are in Christ.” We used the opportunity to teach our children what it means to follow God wherever He leads. By God’s grace, our children have risen to the challenge and have loved and embraced a harder lifestyle. “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” 1 Cor. 10:31 
2. Relationship - Am I daily going deeper in my relationship with God? God wants me to follow Him, not a formula or plan. He wants to work IN me before He works THROUGH me. “Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for honorable use, some for dishonorable. Therefore, IF anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work.” 2 Tim. 2:20-21 For many years, I missed the “if” in these verses. After all, God can use anyone. This is true. But the question is: Do I want to be used as a vessel of gold or clay? Honor or dishonor? If I truly want to be “ready for every good work” I need to be growing in holiness. This growth is an evidence of Gods power at work IN me. God’s power will flow THROUGH me to the extend that I allow it to flow IN me. Think about an extension cord. The power flows best when there are no shorts, barriers or breaks in the wire. In my life, sin is like a barrier that resists God’s power flowing through me. God first wants to flow through my whole heart and then my hands. My holiness today affects my usefulness tomorrow. “But this is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word.” Is. 66:2 3. Surrender - Is my answer “yes” before God has ever spoken? Like a blank job description, will I sign on the dotted line to follow God no matter what? If my answer is not “yes” before God has ever spoken, then I am trying to stay in control. God wants my surrender, not my approval of His plan. When our family first began our path towards missions and said “yes” to a blank job description, I didn’t realize how many times I would have to say “yes” again! Over and over, we must say “yes” before He has ever spoken, before we know what lies hidden in the fog of uncertainty. One thing is true: God’s path is never easy, but it is always best. “not my will, but yours, be done” Luke 22:42 SEE RELATED POST 4. Need - Do I see a need or a way that God is working around me? It is easy to formulate a plan of how I am going to help God out or do something for Him. The problem with this lies in the fact that I don’t have the strength to accomplish anything. God is committed to His plan, not mine. If I desire to be used by God, I need to figure out where He is working and join Him. “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise. For the Father loves the Son and shows him all that he himself is doing.” John 5:19-20 5. Biblical command - Is there a way that I need to obey God’s Word to meet the need? Jesus left us with one primary task: to make disciples. Everything we do should be evaluated as to how we are obeying this command. A veteran missionary once said: “There are enough good things to keep us busy 26 hours a day, we must devote our attention to the best things.” What is the best thing that I need to do to see the gospel spread? We all have different roles according to our gifting, but each ministry should be evaluated to see if it is the best use of our time. When we began the AIDS Care Home, the primary goal was to take the gospel to people who were so close to death. Compassion was a big part of it, but it was primarily an opportunity to show the love of Christ, build relationships and to share the gospel. When we find a need, we find an opportunity to connect with the lost for the goal of spreading the gospel. “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.” James 4:17 6. Prayer - Have I waited on God in prayer asking Him to reveal His will like Jesus did? It is easy to pray for God to fulfill our plan, it is much harder to pray for His will to be done. This tests our heart to see if we truly desire His glory above our comfort (see #1). Retreating to a quiet place with no agenda except to hear from God can be a very revealing experience. When I lay aside my list of desires and say: “not my will, but yours, be done” God often allows me to see my selfish desires. But I must make time to be still and do this. It is easy to get bogged down in the details of a decision. Focused prayer forces me to listen to God’s voice. “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” Luke 22:42 7. Desire - Is God giving me a growing desire to minister in this way? God is continually at work in our hearts to grow us into the people He wants us to be and to prepare us for the good works He has prepared for us. As God grows our desires to minister to others in a specific way or area, he may be working on our heart to lead us. When God opened the door for me to begin serving as Regional Director, our family had already been wanting to serve the missionaries more and were looking for opportunities to do that. We had the desire, and began to pray for an open door to fulfill that desire. “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” Phil. 2:12-13 8. Courage - Am I facing my problems instead of running away from them? Far too many decisions are made as a reaction to problems (running from something) instead of a response to God’s leading (running towards something). I never change ministries if I am running from something. The difficulties I face are God’s tool to grow me. Face your problems with courage, Christ likeness & the strength He provides. Run towards God, not away from problems. If struggles are interpersonal and you haven’t learned to deal with people & problems in one place, they often show up when you move. Remember, half of the problem goes with us everywhere we go. Ourself. Make sure that moving is the best answer, not just the easy answer. (Difficult situations):“For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” 2 Timothy 4:6-7 (Difficult people): “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.” Matthew 18:15-16 
9. Gifting - Is this in an area of gifting that God has given me & my family? Over the years some ministries have energized me and some have completely drained me. The reason I love doing ministries that energize me is because it is an area of gifting. This doesn’t mean I ignore areas where I am not gifted, it means that I ask myself if new opportunities are an area of gifting or weakness. Considering who God has made me to be in the body of Christ helps me to find a good ministry fit. No ministry is 100% in our area of gifting, but I always try to move towards my gifting rather than away from it. “Do not neglect the gift you have” 1 Timothy 4:14 10. Opportunity - Has God opened a door for ministry? Wait until He opens the door. God often uses providential circumstances to open doors. I try not to force doors open. It is easy to become impatient and want to speed things up when we are raising support or wanting to launch a new ministry. God constantly reminds me to be patient until He opens the door. Wait for God to work and the opportunity to join Him. Opportunity does not mean easy. The opportunities to join God at work may mean moving across the world, leaving friends, or being involved in a difficult ministry. When God is ready to work, He will open the door. When we were preparing for missions it took us two years to pay off school debt, then another three and a half years to raise support. I had to learn patience on God’s perfect plan. During that time I put these verses on our fridge and memorized them: “Remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose,’ calling a bird of prey from the east, the man of my counsel from a far country. I have spoken, and I will bring it to pass; I have purposed, and I will do it” (Isaiah 46:9-11). These verses served as a constant reminder that God would open the door in the day, hour, and minute that was best. He would accomplish His purpose in His time. “for a wide door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many adversaries.” 1 Cor. 16:9 11. Counsel - Have you sought Godly counsel? (Not just my “yes” men.) Godly counsel gives us the opportunity to glean from wisdom of others, to see things from another perspective. Maybe, just maybe we don’t have all the answers and we need the body of Christ to help us see more clearly. Whenever I have been hesitant to seek Godly counsel, it was because I knew deep down that the ministry was probably a bad idea. Forcing myself to always seek counsel on ministry decisions keeps me from moving forward with bad decisions. Either I listen to other’s advice…or I drop the idea before I even share it because I know what my mentors will say! “in an abundance of counselors there is safety” Prov. 11:14 12. Friend: What would I suggest my best friend do? Sometimes, if we can simply remove ourselves from the situation and all the emotions that surround our decision, we can see the entire picture more clearly. Asking ourselves how we would advise our friend (or our children) in a similar situation allows us to emotionally distance ourselves and see the big picture of what is best. When a decision affects us personally, every detail seems equally important. Gaining some distance helps prioritize the vital few variables and allows us to make the best long-term decision. Deep down, we often know the right thing to do if we can just change our perspective. If we know what we should do, will we take our own advice? “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin” (James 4:17). 13. Strategic Dependance - Is this beyond my ability so that success fully depends on God’s power? God’s ultimate goal in all He does is to put His glory on display. Someone has rightly said: “God loves to show up and show off”. Consider this when evaluating ministry decisions. Be willing to step into ministries that are beyond your ability to accomplish. We should not be foolish in our decisions, but we should also move forward in faith. God will help you know the difference. When we do this, God alone will receive the glory for success. Years ago, when starting an AIDS ministry in South Africa, we were praying about two options: opening a care home or doing home based care. The care home thrilled me, but also terrified me. How could I raise $150,000, plus monthly operating expenses? I couldn’t. If it was up to me it would be an epic fail. But viewed from the perspective of putting God’s power on display, I wanted to move towards greater visible dependance on God so that He alone would receive the glory. God is faithful. He provided funding for the care home and He alone deserves the glory! “The Lord said to Gideon, “The people with you are too many for me to give the Midianites into their hand, lest Israel boast over me, saying, ‘My own hand has saved me.” Judges 7:2 14. Faith - God asks: Will you trust Me? This question is a follow-up on #13. Many times we know which ministry is beyond our ability, but we are hesitating to step out in faith. But God is not asking for our stamp of approval on His strategy. He wants us to trust HIM. To trust that He is strong and wise and is able to work everything out in the best way. When I was considering the care home, I distinctly remember God challenging my heart with this question: “Will you trust Me?”. God wanted me to step out in faith into something that would utterly fail if He didn’t come through. “Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” Eph. 3:20-21 15. Fear - Will I take the path marked "fear"? Why does one path feel fearful? Because of what we are looking at. One path looks comfortable, one path looks fearful. But what lies beyond? The path marked FEAR leads to being completely open to whatever the Master calls me to do. It leads to a “Well done good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of your master”! Here is how this helped me when facing the decision to take the role of Regional Director and move to East Africa. I felt fear knowing the decision would be hard and require massive change (moving countries, learning a new language, raising more support, etc.). But my greater fear was looking to the end of my life. I was more afraid that I would get to the end of my life and have God say to me: “I had so much more that I wanted to use you for. If only you had trusted me…” God is going to work, and He will use willing servants. God used Moses, but because of Moses’ fear he wasn’t God’s mouthpiece. I fear missing an opportunity to join what God is doing more than I fear the unknown or loss of comfort. “His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’” Matt. 25:21 SEE RELATED POST 16. Future: 10/10/10/100: Picture your future self. This question is an adaptation of Suzy Welch’s 10/10/10 question. What is the significance of this decision in ten minutes, ten months, ten years, or one hundred years? How will I feel about the decision at each future point? Decisions can feel frightening in the moment. There are many unknowns. Even some of the things we do know can be frightening. But many times the things we’re afraid of are actually very small in relation to the big picture. Like question 15, this one helps you view the decision from a different vantage point. Thinking about the future significance of completing this book gave me the motivation to finish. I realized that if I were to die without writing this book, I would have missed a big part of what God called me to do. If ten, or one hundred, years from now I was to look back on the decision to write or not write, the choice was extremely clear: write. “But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13, 14). 17. Step by Step - Will I take the first step? God gives us the next step, not a map. Don’t wait for a detailed plan to start following. God calls us to “go to the land I will show you”. God often hides the next step until we follow him in the step he has revealed. We walk one step at a time. When we were asked to consider the Regional Director position in East Africa, God gave us a clearly defined ministry to pray about. It was a big step of faith, but we knew where we would be landing. It was like base jumping where God called us to the edge of a cliff and said: “I want you to jump and land down there. Trust me.” Our last transition was entirely different. God showed us that we needed to transition, but didn’t show us where to go. Using the base jumping illustration, this move was like standing on top of a mountain in the fog and God saying: “Start running. When you reach the cliff you will fall. When the time is right, you will see where you are landing. Trust me.” God is as faithful today as He was in Abraham’s day. He still shows us where He wants us to go…as we are going. Trust Him. Take the first step. “Go… to the land that I will show you.” Gen. 12:1 Follow Him, one step at a time. Serving together, Kyle Who else could you encourage with this post?
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